Subject: Fathers-Winning hearts
From: "Fatherhood Foundation" <[email-masked]>
To: "Warwick Marsh" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 10 Apr 2007 14:24:50 +1000

Issue No. 125-17th January, 2005

visit us at www.fathersonline.org

Welcome to fathersonline.org

Grandparents

Where is GOD

Single Dads

Shared parenting

Thought for the Week

News & Info

Dad's Prayer

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Welcome to fathersonline.org

Dear Warwick,

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Grandparents

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Where is GOD

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10,
who were excessively mischievous.
They were always getting into trouble
and their parents knew that,
if any mischief occurred in their town,
their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a
clergyman in town
had been successful in disciplining children,
so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent her 8-year-old in first that morning,
with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice,
sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
'Where is God?'

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide eyed.
So the clergyman repeated the question
in an even sterner tone,
'Where is God!!?'
Again the boy made no attempt to answer.
So the clergyman raised his voice even more
and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,
'WHERE IS GOD!?'

The boy screamed and bolted from the room,
ran directly home and dove into his closet,
slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet,
he asked, 'What happened?'

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,
'We are in BIG trouble this time, dude.
God is missing  - and they think WE did it.!'

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Single Dads

Single Parents and Win Win Discipline

Teaching Effective Discipline Techniques to Gain Win-Win Results.

by Dianne Hadaway

It's true that all parents face a variety of discipline challenges. Single parents, however, face unique challenges when it comes to discipline. Many single parents find being the sole disciplinarian can feel like a dictatorship until effective techniques are discovered.

The discipline techniques that work are usually the result of much trial and error, which translates to stress, bargaining, settling, giving up, giving in, and general confusion for the parent and the child.

Single parents whose children spend time with both parents through co-parenting, joint custody, or through other custody/visitation arrangements may find that regardless of the level of successful communication between the two parents, there can be wide discrepancies in the methods of discipline used by either parent. Children in this family dynamic are likely to have more difficulty with discipline due to the imbalance caused by differing sets of rules.

DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PUNISHMENT AND DISCIPLINE?

The terms discipline and punishment are sometimes used synonymously, leading to the misconception that they are one and the same. However, punishment is just one disciplinary measure parents might apply in order to instill discipline in their child.

As the terms apply in caring for and teaching a child, we find these definitions at dictionary.reference.com.
DISCIPLINE: tr.v. dis·ci·plined, dis·ci·plin·ing, dis·ci·plines

To train by instruction and practice, especially to teach self-control to.

To teach to obey rules or accept authority.

To punish in order to gain control or enforce obedience.

To impose order on: needed to discipline their study habits.

PUNISHMENT: n

The act or an instance of punishing.

The condition of being punished.

A penalty imposed for wrongdoing: 'The severity of the punishment must... be in keeping with the kind of obligation which has been violated' (Simone Weil).

Rough handling; mistreatment: These old skis have taken a lot of punishment over the years.

So, punishment is a measure or method a parent, guardian or teacher uses to teach discipline to a child, so that the child learns to behave properly by autonomy or self-control. Other effective disciplinary measures in training children are rewards, reinforcement, consistency, example setting, and praise.

Which brings us to another common misconception in effective discipline:

WHICH WORKS BEST, REWARD OR PUNISHMENT?

Some parents feel that a reward system is most effective in encouraging good behavior. Other parents reject rewarding a child for doing what she is supposed to do, instead they believe the child should simply be punished for unacceptable behavior.

Actually there is no 'either/or' magic formula. Punishments and rewards can work or fail depending on a given situation, the child's temperament and relationship to the one employing the disciplinary action, and the degree of consistency in applying disciplinary methods. Teaching your child to desire to do what they are supposed to do can more readily be achieved by following a natural progression and using elements of each appropriate method of disciplinary training.

Clearly state your expectation. 'It's time to prepare for bed. Turn off your movie, brush your teeth and pick out a story book.'

If your child responds positively to your direction, reward him with acknowledgment and praise (rather than a treat or prize). 'You did a great job of getting ready for bed. Thank you for being such a big boy and making bedtime more enjoyable for both of us!' Affectionate 'rewards' such as hugs, kisses, and high-fives, increase your child's self-esteem and motivation, encouraging him to want to succeed and please you and himself.

If your child refuses or ignores your request, then a clear warning should be given immediately. 'I'm reminding you just this one time to get ready for bed.'

If the warning is not heeded, then quickly enforce your instruction with appropriate punishment. 'There will not be time for a bedtime story this evening since you choose not to get ready for bed when I asked you to.' or 'There will be no movie before bedtime tomorrow night since you did not listen when I asked you to get ready for bed tonight.'

When a child learns that you mean what you say, she will begin to understand that it feels good to both of you when she pleases you by listening and following directions, and not so good when she doesn't. Having your approval and a peaceful loving response will become all the reward your child desires for herself - and that's win-win discipline.

_______________________________________________________

Dianne can be found at www.singleparents.about.com

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Shared parenting

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Thought for the Week

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News & Info

Dear Fatherhood Foundation,

As requested in an earlier FF newsletter,
I made a submission to the Consultation Secretariat at the A-G's dept.
Attached is my submission.
Please feel free to publish it from line17 or line 24 onwards,
as I believe it contains valuable information about the
shared custody/shared parenting issue.
Please include my email address.
Keep up the good work,

Ian Windsor
[email-masked]

******************

_______________________________________________________

WORKSHOP

Are you living life or are you just surviving life after separation? If the latter, come along to the Australian Camp Connect Association's Dads Workshop Day titled 'Life After Separation'.

There will be two professionally led workshops conducted over the day

* Workshop 1. Presenter: Julian Browne
This covers areas such as looking after yourself, doing the right
things by your children, dealing with your emotions and moving on.
* Workshop II. Presenter: Russell Cunningham - [Australian Institute of Self Development]
Covers advanced communication skills to assist you interacting with your children, their other parent and authorities. Discover techniques to address and change behavioural patterns, regain your power and disconnect from the emotional buttons that others keep pushing

The workshops will be a great place to learn from others what works for them and what doesn't, to share your ideas and experiences all in a very supportive, relaxed, friendly environment.

Date: Saturday 26 February 2005
Venue: The Yarraville Community Centre, Francis Street, Yarraville.
Victoria.
Time: 09:00 AM - 4:45 PM
Cost: $45.00 per person. This includes lunch, morning & afternoon teas, workshops and the use of facilities.

If you register into the Dads & Kids Weekend Camp to be held over the 18 - 20 March 2005, the cost of the Dads Workshop Day is reduced to $20.00 per person.

For further details, to download a flyer and to register go to
http://www.campconnect.org.au/feb_march_2005.htm

Registrations close:  Friday 18 February 2005.

There is limited funding available to assist with registration costs for
those who are suffering financially hardship. If you would like some
assistance please contact me.

Regards

Brad.

Brad Mander
Australian Camp Connect  Association
P.O. Box 7057
Upper Ferntree Gully
Victoria. 3156.
ph / fax 03 9754 2587 / 0413 587 120
website: www.campconnect.org.au
email: mailto:[email-masked]

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Dad's Prayer

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Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement
The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,

please mail your cheque or money order to:

Fatherhood Foundation

PO Box 440

WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520

AUSTRALIA

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